2007 Season Predictions

According to most “college football experts”, the 2007 season looks bleak for the Huskies. The combination of the nation’s #1 most difficult schedule and a redshirt freshman starting quarterback has many pundits picking UW to finish near the bottom of the Pac-10.

However, those pundits don’t realize that this frosh QB is seven feet tall and can shoot fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. And by that I mean, he carries the ball like a running back, has improved passing accuracy, and is unusually poised for a 19 year-old quarterback…and can shoot lightning bolts out of his ass.

On to the punditry:

Jimmy Boyd’s Locksmith Sports picks U-Dub to finish 8th in the Pac-10. Jimmy also looks like a Grade A douchebag, so his opinion doesn’t count for much.

Sports Projections also has the Huskies finishing 8th in the Pac. Project this: you guys are idiots. It appears they failed to take this defensive end into account:

Greyson Gunheim. On this play, he ran across the field, made the tackle, and then ate the ballcarrier. No, I didn’t stutter. He fucking ate him. It was chilling.

The Tucson Citizen predicts Washington will finish 9th in the Pac-10. The Tucson Citizen also has a tiny penis. Hey, it needed to be said. True story.

At least College Football News is on the right track. They picked UW to play Utah in the Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl. Finally some experts with an accurate analysis. Though I’m not sure why they spelled Rose, “Bell Helicopter Armed Forces.” Weird.


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