The Syracuse Pre-Game

The Huskies travel across the country to depressed, lonely upstate New York to take on the vaunted Orange of Syracuse.

As I spent four years of college in this area, I am well acquainted with the land of Carousel Mall, fem-mullets, and retirees gambling away their pensions at Turning Stone Casino.

The Carrier Dome: The stinky, moist armpit of college football.

One of the beauties of upstate New York.

The Orange have fallen on hard times recently winning only 5 of their last 23 games. The ‘Cuse will also be unveiling their “quarterback of the future” in Andrew Robinson – a sophomore who figures to have a talent level similar to Jake Locker’s…if Jake was a 4-foot tall leper with goo for hands.

Andrew Robinson: Dennis the Menace plays football? This guy looks like the neighbor kid you used to hit with a stick.

Otto the Orange:
Twice the quarterback Robinson will ever be.


The Vegas line says UW will win by 3.

Phil Steele (some college football “expert” who’s “job” it is to predict scores) takes the Dawgs in a 24-23 win.

Bob Condotta of the Seattle Times predicts a 24-13 win for the Huskies.

But most importantly, The Dawg Dude’s Patented PS2 NCAA Football Game Simulation System predicts a 28-7 Husky victory. And by “simulation” I mean that I played the game (on the ‘Heisman’ level – I’m not one of those ‘All-American’ pussies) and was left breathless by Jake Locker’s talent, even in pixelated, 3″ x 2″ form (10-14 passing for 229 Yds with 1 TD and 11 carries for 93 Yds and another TD) as well as the stout Husky defense (190 total yards and 3 sacks).

So unless Otto the Orange takes over at QB and the ‘Cuse quickly recruit an offensive line of fem-mulleted upstate NY hog mollies, I just don’t see the Dawgs having much trouble with this one.


One Response

  1. haha! More

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