ORANGE CRUSH!

42-12! 30-point victory! The Savior!

Jesus Locker had a fantastic debut tallying 225 total yards and 2 touchdowns while the Husky defense held the Orange to 8 yards rushing and sacked Andrew “Red-Headed Step-child” Robinson seven times.

Syracuse coach Greg Robinson had difficulty watching his Orangeman get dry-humped up and down the field.

Louis Rankin ran wild for 147 yards and 3 scores.

Jordan Reffett perfected his Chicken Dance.

SOME OBSERVATIONS

First of all, the ESPN play-by-play crew of Sean McDonough, Chris Spielman, Colin Cowherd and Rob Stone was horrendous. Midway through the 1st Quarter, I was forced to cut the audio and turn on the sweet, sweet game-calling of Bob Rondeau on KJR 950 as McDonough’s annoying voice and misinformed opinions were making my ears bleed. And as a side note, McDonough looks remarkably like Yellow Bastard from Sin City:

Mrs. McDonough is one lucky lady.

Louis Rankin looked quicker than I’ve ever seen him before – particularly on his 47-yard touchdown run and on an option toss from Locker when he broke a tackle 5 yards behind the line of scrimmage, reversed upfield, hit the corner, and picked up a 17-yard gain.

The defensive line also had its best collective game in recent memory, allowing only 8 rushing yards and piling up 7 sacks – including two by Greyson Gunheim and 1.5 by a much-improved Caesar Rayford.

In the end, Syracuse fans showed their true colors (along with their hellaciously ugly uniforms) by continuing to be good sports even when their team was getting the Orange kicked out of them:

Stay Classy, Syracuse.

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