The Buckeyes Come to Town

The 10th Ohio State Buckeyes bring their 21-regular season game winning streak into Husky Stadium this Saturday for a full-on, gloves-off throw down against a rejuvenated, 2-0 Washington team. “The” Ohio State University (yea, it’s officially “The Ohio State University”, sort of like “the Google” and “the we take ourselves too seriously”) made it to the National Championship game last year where they were tied up and viciously beaten by Florida, 41-14. This team lost a ton of talent from that squad, but still has some serious playmakers on the defensive side of the ball, including linebacker James Laurinaitis and defensive end Vernon Gholston:

James Laurinaitis

My friend had to get a prescription for a topical cream to kill the Laurinaitis growing on his nether regions.

James Laurinaitis’ Father

The “pro” wrestler Laurinaitis had the nickname Animal. Seriously.

Vernon Gholston

I was trying to come up with a witty caption here, but I was too busy hiding under my bed.

The Buckeyes have one of the best defenses in the nation – if not the best defense. tOSU – that is the official abbreviation for the school with the “t” standing for “The”….is this university run by children? Evidently yes:

That kid is going to be one hell of a bisexual Buckeye cheer king someday.

Anyway, tOSU has given up an average of 4 points per game to opponents – although those opponents were the powerhouse combo of Youngstown St. and Akron.

The Buckeyes also have a very impressive running back in Chris Wells. One positive for the Huskies is that the tOSU quarterback is this no-talent assclown:

QB Todd Boeckman missed 5 games last year with constipation.

The Buckeyes are coached by Jim “Lord of the Sweater Vest” Tressel:

Tressel will have his own heated 1-on-1 battle for sweater vest-loving supremacy with our own infamous sweater vest-lover, Ty Willingham:


Vegas favors tOSU by 4.

College football pundit Phil Steele picks the Buckeyes, 20-10.

Seattle Times Husky reporter Benedict, er, Bob Condotta says tOSU 21-17.

Not everyone has their head up their ass on this one though. The respected sports projection gurus at Scouts Inc. take the Huskies 17-14, and 3 of the 5 “experts” on CBS Sportsline are predicting a Dawgs victory.

I will again turn to The Dawg Dude’s Patented PS2 NCAA Football Game Simulation System which has UW winning 28-10 with Jesus Locker going throwing for 126 yards and a TD and running for 89 yards and another touchdown. The Washington defense was the story of the afternoon, limiting tOSU to 194 total yards and making 11 tackles for loss, including 5 sacks.

UW should benefit from the loudest Husky Stadium since Miami lost here in 2000 and will gut out a very close win.


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