Okla-fucking-homa. Again.

While I can’t imagine anything better than beating the Sooners and wiping that gravy-smeared grin off the state of Oklahoma’s face, this really isn’t the fight we want right now.

Oklahoma is ranked #3 in the country, has a bigger, stronger, faster, better-coached football team, and is favored to win by 20.

Well, I say fuck that – We can beat these people:

I know, I know – their fans are adorable. Until you realize that cup is full of crystal meth. ‘Tis the season!

In what is truly the Darkest Hour in Seattle sports history, an upset win over the Okies would inject a much needed shot of Cortisone into the buttock of the Western Washington sports devotee. The combination of the Mariners’ epic failure, the Huskies’ ongoing inability to climb out of the Pac-10 cellar, the Seahawks’ snapping more bones than the pilgrims, and the Sonics leaving town (Where did they go again? The 8th fattest city in the country? Weird, I thought they were fatter) all add up to an unprecedented level of depression for the local sports supporter.

Making Sooner fans cry into their bowls of lard-slathered butter sticks wouldn’t cure this ailment, but it would be one hell of a start.

Sooner fans are growing at a unprecedented rate. This new supporter is being held by her 24 year-old grandmother. (Ah, the old, trusty pre-teen redneck sex joke – never lets you down.)

For the Huskies to win this game, they’ll have to play their best four quarters since beating #4 Miami in Husky Stadium back in 2000. It may be hard to believe in a Washington victory, but crazier things have happened…

Like these people getting away with stealing the Sonics:

And yes, their sex is great. Thanks for asking.

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