Oregon’s Masoli and James Plead Guilty, Are Suspended, Will Return Whenever Oregon Needs Them

Duck quarterback Jeremiah Masoli and running back LaMichael James plead guilt on Friday to second-degree burglary and physical harassment respectively. Both players racked up a boatload of probation and community service and James was sentenced to 10 days in jail.

Since both players were sentenced in the same court room, they thought, “why not carpool in Phil Knight’s shoe car?”

Later on Friday, Oregon Head Coach Chip “Barney Rubble” Kelly suspended Masoli for the season and James for the opener against New Mexico. While at first it seems weird that Masoli would get a much longer suspension for stealing laptops than James would for choking and tackling his ex-girlfriend, you have to remember how much Kelly loves and respects MacBook Pros.

Secondly, we’ve seen Chipper suspend a player “for the season” before (LeGarrette “Golden Gloves” Blount), which actually means that he continues to practice with the team and returns to game action when the Ducks need him.

With Oregon’s huge rap sheet this offseason, Kelly has employed liberal use of the double-point to suspend multiple players at once.

It’s been over a week now since a Duck has been arrested which has the Dawg Dude thinking that something big is in the works down there in Eugene. I’m not going to come right out and say it, but I’ve heard rumors of illicit drug use and inappropriate touching involving Oregon players, heavy set strippers, and water fowl. So we’ll wait and see how this all shakes out.

Be careful, friend.
Lastly, I’d like to thank everybody for coming to the site and checking it out. It’s definitely a lot more fun to write new content when you know people are reading it.

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One Response

  1. Enjoyable read man, er.. I mean dude. I've set a bookmark so I'll be coming back.

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