Enes "The Turkish Traitor" Kanter To Sign with Kentucky

Looks like uber-douche (and Kentucky coach) John Calipari has struck again. Enes Kanter verbally committed to Washington back in November, but reopened his recruitment last month. The 6’9 center/power forward has dominated the Under 18 ranks in Europe and is expected to make a major splash on the collegiate level.

European basketball: solid fundamentals and terrifyingly ugly jerseys.

Kanter also played a handful of games for a professional team overseas which has him in an awkward position with the NCAA and he could miss half the ’10-’11 season (or never even play).

John Calipari has his own NCAA issues as well: to gain entry into Memphis while Calipari was coach, an “unknown individual” took the SAT for star point guard Derrick Rose, though I’m sure Calipari knew nothing of this… Just like it was a coincidence when he hired McDonalds’ All-American game MVP and Memphis recruit Tyreke Evans’ personal strength coach as his administrative assistant. Or in 2001 when he hired that father of Dajuan Wagner, prized recruit and Naismith Prep Player of the Year, to be his Coordinator of Basketball Operations.

Recruits love Calipari’s “energy”.  And that he gives them tons of money.
Good news for Kanter, Calipari just opened Cali-kebabs!, a Turkish restaurant in downtown Lexington, and needs to hire Kanter’s entire family to operate it.
The potential good news for the Huskies is that highly recruited power forward Terrence Jones (Portland, OR) has both Kentucky and Washington as finalists and may steer away from the Wildcats with Kanter committing.
Plus us fans won’t be subjected to years of “The Turkish Delight!” from unoriginal play-by-play announcers. Hey, I’m just looking for a silver lining here.

7 Responses

  1. It's "traitor" not "trader".

  2. Jesus, that's glaring. Where the fuck is my copy editor? That 15 year-old is going to get it!

  3. Does Kunter's jersey look suspiciously like an Oregon Duck prison suit? Coinkydink?

  4. The Turkish Twat simply would not fit in at the UW. He would destroy team chemistry, being that Turks do things in showers that simply are not socially acceptable, taking a shit and pissing being the least of them.With the Turkish, it is the custom that the whole damn family sleep in the same bed…naked! And they…uh…do things.There is no way in hell that Thomas, Overton, or Gaddy would pass him the ball, let alone hangout with him, nor would they be into sleep-overs with him. One can look at the Turkish twat and see that he pisses the bed, and that he likes to play the game of "sniff my fingers."But all of that is academic, because–if you look at his cranium, you can see that he doesn't pack the lobes to qualify academically at the UW. Gonzaga and Kentucky are two places where there are no admissions requirements for jocks.Let's go for Terrance Jones, who can help the team a lot more. Make book that the Turkish twat will be busted for selling hashish before his freshman season is over.

  5. anonymous not sure what planet those Turks are from… none the Turks I know do those things. looking at your post it sounds like you have some problems yourself. you might want to talk to a dr. :-)managers/coaches on the turkish team "fenerbahce" he is playing for tend to be like calipari – they tend to not follow the rules, so i wouldn't be suprised if he can even qualify to play in the ncaa if ncaa investigates his situation just a little bit. how do i know… i played against his team in 3 different sports and would never play for those sleezebags. 🙂

  6. Oh…yeh. Did you ever hear of a team, east of the Mississippi ever being breasted for recruiting violations (or for statutory rape)?!?The KFC team has signed the Turkish Kunt to a professional contract, and soon Terrance Jones will sign–both getting a hell of a lot more than the stupido stooges at USC. Every midwest and eastern team violates the hell out of the NCAA rules…. Well, the rules apply only to the western states.The Turkish Kunt was quietly dumped from the UW recruiting plans, because the UW could not risk becoming another Duck pen by having the Turkish Kunt arrested for child buggery, and perp-walked, during a game.Of course, that old cocksucker supreme, Carbuncle Calipari, promised to shower with him and bend over to pick up the bar of soap.

  7. All I can hope is that Terrence Jones doesn't like reach-arounds.

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