Get To Know a D-Bag: West Virginia

West Virginia was very close to getting a #1 seed in the tournament with their 29-6 record and the third highest strength of schedule rating in the country. There is no doubt that this is a very talented team even without their starting point guard, Darryl “Truck” Bryant, who broke his foot in Tuesday’s practice. *Insert a shitty joke about wheels here*

But with all that said, their mascot looks like he shotgun’ed his parents for eating the last of the Funyuns:

A screenshot from Vivid Video’s newest title: Dirty Bearded Woodsman Rapes Everything.

The Mountaineers are a forward-dominated squad led by Da’Sean Butler who averages 17.5 points per game along with 6.3 rebounds and 3.3 assists and is majoring in Conjunctions.

“I swear to God, if this white guy touches my head again, I’m choke-slamming him.”

Now here is the part of the post where I could talk about how the West Virginia fan base is a bunch of assbackwards, hillbilly, Appalachian rednecks, but TheDawgDude is far too classy for that. Instead, let me tell you about my good friend, Herbert, who actually attended West Virginia University and is a world-renowned endocrinologist:

Did I say endocrinologist? Shit, I meant crazy-eyed, weasel-trapping freakshow. Seriously, WVU fans are like a Jeff Foxworthy wet dream: You might be a Mountaineers fan if your mom fucked Bill Engvall and you have a baby arm growing out of your head.

You know your school has a problem when this is an understated gift for a fan:

And this is a normal gift:

New Mountaineer fans are popping out everyday:

Luckily, not 100% of them will come out looking like Patton Oswalt’s brother with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. A handful of them come out like this:

Go Dawgs!


6 Responses

  1. Their fans are scary gross.

  2. The Dawg Dude strikes again- that prego photo? Holly crap.-Bada

  3. You are a very funny guy Mr. Dawg Dude.I have you on my daily read list. How many hits are you getting on this blog? Take Care.

  4. Thanks! The readers are definitely growing, but spreading TheDawgDude word would definitely be appreciated.

  5. That prego pic made me vomit a little in my mouth.

  6. Getty up Dude! We need to see how TDD greaves. Does he curl up in the corner when times are rough? Hell no, he comes out swinging like a mofo.-Getty Up

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