Prez Emmert Bolts for them Big Ass NCAA Dollars

The toupee is considering remaining at UW.
At least in the athletic world, Dr. Mark Emmert has been a controversial figure in his time at the University of Washington. While volleyball, softball, and crew all won national championships during his reign, UW also saw its worst stretch of football ever (17-54).  
When he became president of UW, many believed that Emmert would cure the woes of the football program as he had recently hired Nick Saban, who won a national championship in 2003, while chancellor at LSU. Instead the doctor hired Todd Turner as athletic director and Tyrone Willingham as head coach…I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Emmert looking debonaire in a dress shirt by Brooks Brothers, suspenders by Jacquard, and eyebrows by Yeti.
Turner and Willingham teamed up to become an unstoppable force of football ineptitude. From Turner stating that Washington should be more like Oregon to Willingham “Suddenly Seniorizing” half the team, this dynamic duo rang the death knell all the way to a winless season in 2008.

Willingham in an entire ensemble by Douche.
It’s weird, after Turner was fired, er, resigned, I never think about him except when a spade and neutered PSA comes on the TV.

Nad-less since ’51.

Much like the semen stains at the soon-to-be-closed Lusty Lady, the memories of Turner and Willingham can never be fully scrubbed clean. However, let’s not forget that Prez Emmert did also hire Scott Woodward and Coach Sark, who have helped UDub Football crawl out of its shallow grave.

And even if you’re not a big fan of Woodward, or as I like to call him, Frowny McCringestein, you have to agree that we’re much better off now than when Barbara “12 Inch Strap-on” Hedges was gangbanging the football program with a bunch of NCAA investigators:

 My scrotum just hid under my bed.
So the big question is, are UW sports (and let’s be honest, that’s really just football and to a lesser extent basketball) better off without Emmert?

I think you have to say “no”. Emmert is much more interested in sports, and football in particular, than most UW presidents and while he made some hiring blunders and hasn’t gotten much traction for a new Husky Stadium, Emmert has been more supportive of the cash cow collegiate sports than most Upper Campus academics.

Hopefully UW will pick another football-friendly president to succeed Emmert and the long awaited turnaround of the football program can continue unhindered. Oh and good luck, Dr. Emmert, and congrats on the $2 million a year salary – don’t forget to put the hammer down on U$C and give Kentucky basketball the death penalty.
Speaking of basketball, Terrence² announces its decision tomorrow – cross your fingers!

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Nike U. Tricks Some Guy into being Basketball Coach, Ross to UW?

After being rejected by every dude who has come within 30 feet of a basketball, Oregon has finally found some schmo to accept $14 million dollars to be their next basketball coach. That lucky guy is former Creighton headman, Dana Altman:

 Dance, monkey! Dance!

There are also reports circulating that Terrence Ross, one half of the Terrence² mandem, has committed to UW during his visit. However, there hasn’t been a formal announcement by Ross or the University of Washington at this point.

The breaking news in not without controversy though – the little girls over at have their panties in a bunch over not being the first to report the news (that honor went to Rumor has it that the Dman staff was too preoccupied to notice: Chris Fetters was busy taking advantage of today’s Living Social coupon at Fatburger and Kim Grinolds was neck-deep in Leprechaun Training at General Mills’ Lucky Charms Institute:

Lookin’ Good, Kim!

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Butler and Te’o-Nesheim Go in the 3rd Round!

In another sign that UW Football is righting its ship, linebacker Donald Butler and defensive end Daniel Te’o Nesheim became the first Huskies to be drafted since Isaiah Stanback and Dashon Goldson in 2007.

Both players improved their draft stock immensely with great showings at the Senior Bowl and NFL Combine. Butler came to Montlake as an unheralded 2-star prospect and worked himself into a 3rd round selection of the San Diego Chargers.

Butler holds the Apple Cup trophy after last year’s 30-0 curbstomping of Wazzu.

Donald was known for his ferocious hits and as the centerpiece of an equally ferocious mouthwear ad campaign:

That’s a bad man.

Te’o-Nesheim also came to UW as a relatively unspectacular recruit. He was a 3-star prospect and ranked as the 56th defensive end in America, but was drafted in the 3rd round by the Philadelphia Eagles and was the 4th DE taken in the draft. DTN piled up 30 sacks in his career – the most ever by a UDub player.

No, Daniel. You hang loose, big guy.

Like Butler, DTN laid some serious wood in his four years as a Husky, including this de-cleater on current Seahawk Justin Forsett:

Congratulations, Donald and Daniel! You are two Huskies who turned this program around.


It’s been a crazy week in UW hoops with two players leaving the team (Elston Turner and Clarence Trent), one player committing (Aziz N’diaye), and two more rumored to be joining the squad (Terrence Jones and Terrence Ross). With all this turnover, Romar must feel like a regional manager at Fuddruckers.

The Romar-to-Fuddruckers rumors are pure speculation at this point.

Elston Turner’s decision to leave the program took everyone by surprise as he played a significant role in UW’s NCAA tourney run (he averaged 12 points per game in the two wins). It sounds like Turner was uncomfortable with being pigeon-holed as a three-point specialist and wanted a better opportunity to showcase his all-around game.

Turner: Uncomfortable with pigeon-holeing.

This reasoning is a little confusing though as Turner would have been counted on to score more next year with QPon graduating, but maybe he just didn’t want to play second fiddle to Isaiah Thomas.

Turner: Likes his fiddle on top.

Or maybe he was just sick of being called The Beaver. We’ll never know for sure. But all joking aside, Turner was an important part of the team and will be missed next year. His three-point bombs in the 2nd half against Marquette were a major reason why the Huskies got back into that game and were then able to enjoy a Sweet Sixteen run. Good luck, Elston – wherever you end up. Except at Oregon obviously.

While I fully believe that Turner’s decision to leave Washington was a personal choice, Clarence Trent’s move from UW to Seattle U. may have been pushed along by Coach Romar. Just a few weeks ago, Trent tried out for the football team with the idea that he would be transferred over to a football scholarship if it looked like he could contribute. After four practices, Trent decided that football wasn’t for him and would remain on a basketball scholarship. So in a span of a few weeks, Trent went from wanting to play basketball and football at Washington to wanting to leave the university all together?

UW will have to find another guy to palm two balls in awkward photo shoots next year.

It sounds as if Romar was trying hard to open up another scholarship to entice the Terrences with a package deal. While this could be seen as a little shady, NCAA basketball scholarships are given out on a one-year basis and as long as Romar is honest and upfront with his players, this type of deal just has to be accepted in NCAA basketball these days. And for comparison’s sake, Trent became the 16th b-ball transfer in the Pac-10 this offseason.

This isn’t all bad for Trent either. He’s a fantastic athlete, but was buried on the Husky bench – now he will be the focal point of Seattle U.’s offense from the opening tip. But it will definitely be a bummer not getting to see Clarence throw down these sort of dunks in the future:

On the bright side, the extra scholarship gives the Huskies a great shot at the wet dream of Terrence². The latest rumors have Ross all but committed to UW with his official decision coming on Sunday while Jones is believed to be down to UW, Kentucky, and Oregon.

The Terrences watch as yet another coach rejects Oregon’s $3 million a year offer.

Picking up TnT would be a major coup for Romar and his staff. ESPN rates Jones as a 97/100 and the #9 overall prospect in the country and Ross as a 95/100 and the #30 overall prospect. Adding these two fellas would instantly push UW’s 2010 recruiting class into the top 10 in the nation and fuel hopes for an Elite Eight or even a Final Four appearance in the next few years. Plus Jones would help countless area grandmas get out of their cars:

While it’s been rumored that Jones wants to wait for Oregon to hire a new coach before announcing his decision, he also wants to sign before April 30th and it’s looking more and more likely that the Ducks will still be coachless by the end of the month. Missouri’s Mike Anderson is the latest coach to reject Oregon, joining the small army of coaches who have done the same. At this point, there should be a checkbox on the 2010 Census asking if you have turned down millions of dollars to coach at Nike U.

The most recent reports out of Eugene have these two candidates as the new frontrunners:

Phil Knight has a hard-on for shitty facial hair (re: Jeremiah Masoli), so this guy has a real shot.

Those nipples have forgotten more about college basketball than you’ll ever know.

One Pac-10 newcomer that has picked a school is recent Husky commit and current College of Southern Idaho player Aziz Ansari:

This funnyman/pass-first point guard will be a great addition to a loaded Husky backcou…wait, what’s that? The Huskies signed Aziz N’Diaye, a 7’1 Senegalese center? Now that you mention it, that does sound better than a 5’5 Indian-American comedian.

N’Diaye: Generally regarded as a better D-1 prospect than Aziz Ansari.

Getting a true center into the 2010 class was a great move by Romar and it sounds like N’Diaye has the potential to be a difference-maker, particularly on the defensive end. Though unlike Ansari, he lacks an alter-ego named Raaaaaaaandy:

Everybody keep your fingers crossed on Terrence²!

QPon Tribute

TheDawgDude was feeling a little bromantic last night, so I tucked the husky in bed, poured a nice Merlot, dimmed the lights and wrote a tribute to departing senior and star of TheDawgDude’s mantasy, Quincy Pondexter.

QPon came to Montlake as a highly ranked player (#6 small forward in the country) and a part of UW’s highest ranked recruiting class ever, along with Spencer Hawes (#2 center), Phil Nelson (#25 small forward), and Adrian Oliver (#8 point guard). However, Quincy was the only player to graduate as a Husky.

If this pic doesn’t give you at least a semi, you’re no friend of mine.

Hawes went to the NBA after a lackluster freshman season, Nelson left for Portland St. where he broke his foot this year, and QPon’s roommate, Adrian Oliver, abruptly fled to San Jose St. leaving Quincy with the rent and without batteries for the remote control.

 Don’t rent a place with this dick.

But I digress. Pondexter left a major mark at the University of Washington – he is third all-time in points scored with 1,786 and played in more games (136) than any other Husky. He was named to the All-Pac-10 Conference and All-Pac-10 Tournament teams, and set a conference record with five “Player of the Week” honors (yet somehow didn’t win Pac-10 Player of the Year…those bastards).

Plus Quincy was the only Husky to star in the Nutcracker:

And the only Husky to get an endorsement deal with Clothiers & Hatters:

Full Nutcracker video here:

Quincy started his Husky career with an impressive freshman year, averaging nearly 11 points a game. He struggled a little bit in his sophomore season but broke out in the second half of his junior year, and became the unquestioned leader of the ’09-’10 team as a senior. His game-winning shot with 1.7 seconds left against Marquette in the first round of the NCAA Tournament will go down as one of the top tournament plays in Husky history.

“Why the fuck is Artem Wallace on the court?!”

While Pondexter will find a home in the NBA next year (he is widely considered as a late first round pick), he will most definitely be missed around Montlake for his clutch plays, his ferocious dunks, his boyish charm, those alluring chestnut eyes that draw you in while simultaneously making you feel both dangerous and safe, and…ah shit, that last part was meant for TheDawgDude’s private diary.

Anyway, thanks for all the hard work and good luck in the NBA, Quincy.

Oh and QPon is also the only athlete I can think of who wore a tuxedo t-shirt to a press conference:

“I want to be formal, but I’m here to party.”

Spring Practice Report

Finally, spring practice is here: all the fun of football season without any of those pesky games…but at least it’s a chance to see the new players on the field, judge how hard the returning players hit the weight room in the offseason, and watch guys awkwardly try to play football without pads.

Nice to see Nick Montana in P&G.

One new player making a quick impact is running back Jesse Callier who earned Coach Sark’s “Player of the Day” in Practice #2 (Anthony Boyles, the 6’3 receiver-turned-cornerback, was the “Player of the Day” in Practice #1).  Another freshman RB, Deontae Cooper, is also impressing the coaching staff with his running ability.

Deontae Cooper could be Chris Polk’s backup next season.

Here is a quick video of the first practice: QBs Jake Locker, Keith Price, and Nick Montana toss some balls around.

 Glad to see that nobody got a leg amputated in the offseason.

One intriguing development is that 6’5 basketball forward Clarence Trent is going the two-sport route and trying to become a defensive end. Trent is an explosive athlete and could make an impact on the defensive line even though he last played football as a sophomore in high school.

Hopefully the “Trent Knows” campaign will be equally successful.

Clarence Trent joining the football team could also have a big impact on basketball recruiting. If Trent continues to be on the team in the fall, his scholarship will switch from B-ball to football, giving Romar one more scholly to play around for the 2010 class. And with the rumor being that Terrence Jones wants to be in a package deal with Jefferson teammate Terrence Ross (who is the #5 small forward according to ESPN), this additional scholarship could pay major dividends.

Getting Terrence² is like going home with a super hot girl and finding her marginally less super hot, disease-free friend is waiting for you in her bedroom. And said bedroom is littered with free money and her bed is made of chocolate.

In a somewhat strange move, ESPN has decided to televise Oregon’s spring game. Evidently the network is hoping that one of the Ducks pulls a Last Boy Scout.

Skip to 3:40 to see the running back start Cheneying everybody on the field.
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