USC Gets 2-Year Bowl Ban, Macstoli is Done, and Pac-16 Looking Probable

Tons o’ news in the Pac-10 right now.  Reports are leaking out that the NCAA has backhanded USC with a two-year bowl ban, a loss of 30 scholarships, and probation until Sasha Obama becomes president.  While the media dropped more premature releases on this story than TheDawgDude does watching Ellen, it sounds like these penalties are the real deal.

Wait, wait, wait…this isn’t sexy?

This is all well deserved in my opinion as UW was directly affected by Southern Cal’s cheating ways.  Rumor has it that back in 2003, old Slick Rick Neuheisel had Reggie Bush wrapped up for UW until USC promised his mom a house. Then Slick Rick refused to make room for the Bushs by moving into his own garage and Reggie bolted to USC.

Luckily for Pete, cheating in the NFL is encouraged! Go ‘Hawks!

USC’s comeuppance should be UW’s gain – the postseason ban and loss of scholarships will usher highly ranked SoCal recruits up north to Montlake into the sweet, sweet arms of Coach Sark. (Yeah, I realize that sounds pretty gay, but that’s how things are when you’re in a committed bromance.)

As if the bowl ban wasn’t enough, the new NCAA-imposed herpes ban has decimated the USC cheering squad.

USC isn’t the only Pac-10 school with issues right now. Suspended Oregon QB Jeremiah Macstoli has again run into trouble with law and has finally been kicked out of school. His most recent transgression was driving with a suspended license, littering and…littering and…littering and…smoking the reefer.  Clearly, he should have been kicked out after pleading guilty to robbing a frat house of as many electronics as he could carry, but regardless, justice is served.

I have to say that I was impressed by Macstoli’s bold choice of ripping enormo joints during conference play last year.

To round out this action-packed day in the Pac-10, it’s looking more and more likely that the fabled Pac-16 will become a reality (though most likely the conference will get a new name – cross your fingers that TheDawgDude’s suggestion of “The Huskies and the Sac-15” will be accepted.)

Yeah, yeah, it’s a few years old. And clearly Ty Willy’s sand wedge was omitted.

Reports are that Nebraska is strongly leaning towards joining the Big Ten which could push Texas, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, Oklahoma St., Texas Tech, and Colorado to join up with the Pac-10. While it’s possible that the Big 12 could replace Nebraska with another school – BYU, Utah, and Panhandle St. have been mentioned as possibilities, the real money will be made by joining forces with the Pac-10 and creating a western super-conference that will challenge the SEC for college football dominance.

Stay tuned to see what happens with this major shift in the NCAA sports landscape. And since it sounds like Texas has too much pride to be a part of a conference called the “Pac-16”, what are your name suggestions for this proposed college football beast? Oh and if you have any friends that are Husky fans (or Duck/Coug fans if you want to piss them off), tell them about My Facebook fans have been stuck on 142 since before the Gulf of Mexico was flooded with dinosaur shit, so any word of mouth helps. As always, thanks for coming by.


3 Responses

  1. Nicely done…We need to figure out how to get your FB audience to spread the word Amway style to their friends… and then their friends… and then their friends.I've recently heard of this move: a person is hanging out in the resume section at Barnes and Noble and then BLAM! Up walks the Amway guy and says "I noticed you are reading looking at so and so… well, if you like that you are going to love this, let me buy you a Diet Squirt and we can talk." What I am grasping at is that maybe we could stake out the sports sections of Barnes and Nobles to spread the word? No?5000,Turd Furgeson

  2. Let's go Pac-16! I'm just glad I'll be able to watch my Dawgs run the new Pac while I'm getting my Master's in Swine Processing from the Firestone Meat Laboratory at Panhandle State ( enough, I heard Swine Processing is the industry term for manning the door at an Oklahoma State frat party. Cowboys…your move.

  3. Zing!6 more teams to talk shit about on a regular basis. This is a gift from God.

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