I had been looking forward to this slanderous post about Syracuse because (unfortunately) I’m intimately familiar with the central New York area, but after reading a few articles on the cockiness of this team that went 4-9 last year, now I’m excited to write the post to smack some sense into these orange-clad idiots.
First of all, here is an article from The Daily Orange student newspaper proclaiming that the Orange defense is better than Nebraska’s due to its overwhelming “swag.” While this assertion is ridiculous, I’m impressed that a literate attends Syracuse.
The “swag” must come from going 4-9 last year with wins against college football juggernauts Maine, Akron, Northwestern, and Rutgers. And don’t forget the huge opening win this year over the Akron Zips (a team that lost to Temple by 39 in ’09).
Oh wait, Syracuse had the best rush defense in the Big East last year?! Hold the phone! Congratulations – that’s like being the Tiger Woods mistress with “light” stretchmarks.
Here is a quote from ‘Cuse defensive end, Chandler “Smiles” Jones:
“You have a good quarterback — Jake, or Chris, Locker. Whatever his name is.”
Uh, Chandler, it’s Jake Locker and Chris Polk – they’ll be the guys tag-teaming you in your dreams on Saturday night.
It’s confusing that a team would be cocky after going 14-46 over the last five years – including a four-year, 10-37 run by former coach Greg Robinson.
If having a terrible football team isn’t enough, Syracuse is located in the country’s icy taint and specializes in crumbling industries, stringy mullets, and balls frozen to legs. The town’s economy would be booming if only one could export sadness.
Syracuse football players coming to play in Seattle are like Cuban baseball players coming to play in America – watch out for defections.
Luckily, fans of the Orange that travel to Husky Stadium won’t get jealous because they won’t be able to see:
For more analysis of the game, check out the UW vs Syracuse preview at SeaTown Sports.
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